I hate whiny posts. In fact I hate whining period (especially when it’s coming from my 2 year old). BUT I’m so tired. My husband and I work full time, and it always seems that when we get home there are a ton of things to do. Then the baby starts screaming and the toddler is crying because I didn’t fix her chocolate milk just right, or the dog looked at her, or she has just finally realized that the rock she brought in from the driveway two weeks ago is missing. Seriously.
I’m just tired, and that makes me sad. I realized that I’ve spent so much time feeling exhausted and annoyed lately that I’m missing out on my baby crawling, and all the awesome stuff that my 2 year old is learning lately. Scarlett and I actually held a conversation with each other a few days ago and it made me stop and wonder where this little person came from.
There is so much going on in the world, in our country, at work, with our families, that it’s been hard to just stop and enjoy life. To enjoy the fact that Scarlett still comes to me and asks to be held, I know that those moments will soon come to an end. To enjoy Savannah in all her chubby, yummy, sweetness. To enjoy my husband, and the amazing relationship that we share. It’s all so fleeting.
A friend shared this with me a few months ago, and it came to mind this past weekend:
Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
For babies grow up, we’ve learned to our sorrow
So quiet down, cobwebs
Dust, go to sleep
I’m rocking my baby, and babies don’t keep.
Babies don’t keep. They may be babies in our hearts forever, but physically it such a sort period of time. They grow up SO fast. By the way, NEVER say this to a parent of a newborn/infant/toddler, they will soon figure it out on their own, trust me. But for now it doesn’t help, it just makes them feel more exhausted/inadequate/angry/(insert crazy parent of a small child emotion here).
I came to a realization today that instead of feeling defeated I wanted to feel joy. I know that it’s not going to happen over night, it’s not even going to happen all the time, but I’m going to try. It’s the trying that counts. If I can say that at least ONE afternoon instead of brushing my toddler off I actually stop and listen to her and make sure that she knows how loved and important she is and I find joy in that, well then I’d say I’m doing pretty good. If I stop and play patty cake with my baby instead of rushing to finish dinner, then I am blessed, or pause to make sure that my husband knows how very much I appreciate all he does for me, then my cup is overflowing.
Find the joy, because babies don’t keep.