Left Behind

This girl.

Beautiful Helper

She looks so much like a man she will never meet.

The other acts so much like that part of me that’s made up of the same stuff that he was made of.

I mustache you a question...

I still remember the moment that suicide directly affected me. It’s something you always hear about, it’s always there in the background but never had it really hit home.

I was 8 months pregnant with Scarlett, sitting in the floor of her not yet put together nursery trying to assemble a night stand. My dad called and asked if I was sitting down. Will had died. He killed himself. That was September 9, 2010.

Fast forward three years. In bed 6:30 am, Adam rushes in, you need to see this. Scott is gone. Will’s little brother, Brad’s twin. He killed himself.

I will never pretend to understand what would bring a person to that point. I’ve battled depression since my teens, I’ve been in low places. I’ve had the, “the world would be better off without me”, thoughts. I was a cutter. But I’ve never been to THAT place. The one of no return.

What could we have done? What could I have done?

What can we do?

I did something drastic the day before our second funeral, the one where we buried one more son, brother, nephew, father, cousin, friend. I went into the tattoo parlor and marked a part of me that I will always see. 1mt 1mt, One more thing, One more time.** I will never give up. It’s a reminder to do one more thing than you want to do, one more time than you want to do it. Pick up your pieces and keep moving. I had their birth dates put underneath to keep them near me always, and to remind me to keep going when they thought they could not.

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November 23rd is International Survivors of Suicide day. It’s about recognizing the people that are left behind, left to wade through the pieces and pick up where someone they loved could not.

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photo credit: afsp.org

Please consider donating to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. This is a very real and tragic thing, and it could be prevented. If you know someone who you think is struggling please reach out to them, if you don’t know how, then tell someone else that might could help. 50% to 75% of people who attempt suicide tell someone about their intentions.* Visit the AFSP’s site for more resources and info about suicide prevention.

Please, please take the time to reach out to someone you love today. You never know what internal battles they may be fighting. You never know when one conversation may save someone’s life.

Until next time,

J♥

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Note: I was not contacted or asked to write this post by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. All opinions and statements are my own. This is a subject and organization that is close my heart, I just hope to spare another family the grief we have experienced.
*Resource: afsp.org
** 1mt 1mt is credited to Josh Sundquist. He is a paraylmpic ski racer and an awesome motivational speaker. Check him out when you get a chance. 

Around here…

Been busy and chaotic and tragic around here lately. We lost another young family member this week and I missed wordless Wednesday.

What’s been going on around here:

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It’s been cold and we’ve had lots of snuggles. I don’t ever want to drop the girls off at school but that morning was extra hard. Adam loves his girls.

Suicide sucks. I don’t ever think I’ll understand what would drive somebody to that. I know that our family is in shock and pain to be going through this again just three short years later.

Hug your babies. Remember that God is good. All the time. Always.

It’s Fall y’all! (WW)

I love Fall. It is my absolute favorite of all seasons. It’s gets hot and humid here during the Spring and Summer, so I long for those days when we can turn the AC off and open the doors and windows. It’s doesn’t usually get really cold here until December or January (like this week the high has been in the 70s). I always get so jealous of my friends in the northern states when they post photos of the leaves changing in August and September, but ours is definitely worth the wait. The colors are no less beautiful even though they take their sweet time. 🙂

Fall y'all!

Also, our sweet Black Lab Jersey passed a few months ago and Adam and I have been tossing the idea of getting another dog around. I don’t want a puppy, because I have to wipe enough butts as it is right now. Plus, there are so many older dogs that need homes. I would really love another Dachshund. Our little Daisy has been the best companion and she loves her babies (If you follow me on Instagram you got to see just how much Sav loves Daisy. She also thinks she’s tasty.), we also don’t really need another big dog since we are short on space.

Sweet Daisy Mae

Sweet Daisy Mae

I’ve been praying that the perfect dog will come our way. So hopefully we will have a new family member to introduce to you soon! 🙂

Until next time,

J ♥

Linking up here:

In the Moment with Sarah Halstead
Come join us! ♥