What are you afraid of?

Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged! for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.                                                                                                                         –Joshua 1:9

Why are you afraid, oh child? Why do you think you can not do this task I have called you for?

I am with you always.

I am the guide that holds your hand as you cross the foggy mountain pass.

I am the strength in your legs.

Yes, you may not be able to complete this task yourself, but with Me you can do anything.

Lean on Me, rely on Me.

This is what I want you to do.

Around here…

Been busy and chaotic and tragic around here lately. We lost another young family member this week and I missed wordless Wednesday.

What’s been going on around here:

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It’s been cold and we’ve had lots of snuggles. I don’t ever want to drop the girls off at school but that morning was extra hard. Adam loves his girls.

Suicide sucks. I don’t ever think I’ll understand what would drive somebody to that. I know that our family is in shock and pain to be going through this again just three short years later.

Hug your babies. Remember that God is good. All the time. Always.

A day with my girl.

Scarlett, her Gigi and I took a trip to the GA Aquarium yesterday. It was nice to play hooky from work and spend the day with my girl.

All photos are iPhone. We got an hour and a half away from home and I realized I forgot my camera. For shame!

She LOVED it. The dolphin show was pretty awesome, I hadn’t seen it yet either.

Fishy friends.

We spent the most time with the whales.

Before we left Adam asked if she was going to see dragons at the aquarium. “No daddy, no dragons at the aquarium.” But daddy was right, sea dragons!!

A special day I will cherish. ♥

Linking up today at:

Until next time,

J ♥

Pure Bliss….

A moment I want to remember. ♥

J ♥

Whirlwind and Topsy Turvy

A few days ago I was  laying in bed listening to the baby cry over the monitor wondering how long I would have to *act* like I was asleep so Adam would get up with her. As I was trying to fake my perfect snore I thought back to the time before children. The Saturday (and Sunday for that matter) mornings when we slept until 10 or even “laid” in bed all day. When our mornings didn’t revolve around Mickey Mouse or sippy cups, and our plans didn’t have to be made around nap times. We could go to the grocery store whenever we wanted without the worry that someone would throw a screaming tantrum in the middle of the store (unless of course they didn’t have my wine in stock). I wondered how our lives would be if we had never had children.

Adam and I had a whirlwind courtship. I knew he was the man I was supposed to marry on our first date. We dated for six months before we got engaged and a year later were married. We discussed starting a family but I had been told that I might not be able to conceive because of issues I had had in the past. We decided that just wasn’t what we had planned for our lives. We were going to travel, and spoil our dogs, and enjoy each other.

A month after our first anniversary I found out I was pregnant. I cried. Not because I was happy, but because I didn’t know what Adam would say. This wasn’t what we had planned, how were we going to afford this. Our world was topsy turvy, upside down. My initial shock only lasted a few days, soon I was over the moon for this little life growing inside of me. It took Adam longer to warm up to the idea. I think he mourned longer for the life that we had planned, the one that flew out the window with two little pink lines.

We finally started to settle somewhat into our new life, and a month after Scarlett’s first birthday I found out I was pregnant again. Adam’s first response was “Again?”. Seriously. I cried again, because, how were we going to afford this, this isn’t in our new plan and the new feeling of how can I love another as much as the first. When she came I knew the answer. Your love as a mother, as a parent, doesn’t divide with each child, it multiplies.

We’ve had a crazy year. Again we are starting to settle into our new life as a family of 4. But on this particular morning, the monotony of it all came crashing down on me and I began to wonder what our lives would be like if we didn’t have these girls. No sippy cups or bottles, no cartoons or tea parties, no waking up at the crack of dawn every single day. To go and do as we please. Then, in the middle of my daydream of vacationing in Italy, I hear Adam come back into the bedroom and I roll over and see this face.

And shortly after this one crawls up in the bed.

All my thoughts are washed away. I think to myself “You big idiot!”. This may not be the life we planned, but nothing ever goes as planned. Some of the best adventures are the ones you never expected. We may not travel as much as we would like or get to sleep late on the weekends, we may be on the fast train to the terrorist threes, but our lives are just the way they are meant to be. Perfect.

J ♥

Babies don’t keep

I hate whiny posts. In fact I hate whining period (especially when it’s coming from my 2 year old). BUT I’m so tired. My husband and I work full time, and it always seems that when we get home there are a ton of things to do. Then the baby starts screaming and the toddler is crying because I didn’t fix her chocolate milk just right, or the dog looked at her, or she has just finally realized that the rock she brought in from the driveway two weeks ago is missing. Seriously.

I’m just tired, and that makes me sad. I realized that I’ve spent so much time feeling exhausted and annoyed lately that I’m missing out on my baby crawling, and all the awesome stuff that my 2 year old is learning lately. Scarlett and I actually held a conversation with each other a few days ago and it made me stop and wonder where this little person came from.

There is so much going on in the world, in our country, at work, with our families, that it’s been hard to just stop and enjoy life. To enjoy the fact that Scarlett still comes to me and asks to be held, I know that those moments will soon come to an end. To enjoy Savannah in all her chubby, yummy, sweetness. To enjoy my husband, and the amazing relationship that we share. It’s all so fleeting.

A friend shared this with me a few months ago, and it came to mind this past weekend:

Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
For babies grow up, we’ve learned to our sorrow
So quiet down, cobwebs
Dust, go to sleep
I’m rocking my baby, and babies don’t keep.

~Anon

Babies don’t keep. They may be babies in our hearts forever, but physically it such a sort period of time. They grow up SO fast. By the way, NEVER say this to a parent of a newborn/infant/toddler, they will soon figure it out on their own, trust me. But for now it doesn’t help, it just makes them feel more exhausted/inadequate/angry/(insert crazy parent of a small child emotion here).

I came to a realization today that instead of feeling defeated I wanted to feel joy. I know that it’s not going to happen over night, it’s not even going to happen all the time, but I’m going to try. It’s the trying that counts. If I can say that at least ONE afternoon instead of brushing my toddler off I actually stop and listen to her and make sure that she knows how loved and important she is and I find joy in that, well then I’d say I’m doing pretty good. If I stop and play patty cake with my baby instead of rushing to finish dinner, then I am blessed, or pause to make sure that my husband knows how very much I appreciate all he does for me, then my cup is overflowing.

Find the joy, because babies don’t keep.

♥♥Jess